I've recently had the pleasure of reading a few other blogs by mothers addressing different topics and thought it appropriate to update my own. One of the blogs I read discussed the humor and aggravation a mother felt as her three hyper children caused a scene in a store and an elderly woman commented to her to "cherish each moment because it goes by too fast." She went on and on about the difference between cherishing the good times with her children and accepting the fact that sometimes it is hard and not each moment is like golden sunshine and rainbows. I can certainly relate to that one! Throughout the last two years of being a mother there have been more than a handful of times I wanted to pull my hair out, scream and cry at the same time. On the other hand there are numerous times that I am thankful for having the ability to bring these amazing beings into the world and being able to witness every first smile, each new discovery and the unconditional love. There are so many different levels of becoming a mother and being a mother, and they can all be either extremely draining or extremely overwhelming in a positive way.
The latest blog I read was addressing a mother of one who went up to a mother of nine and said, "I thought I had it hard!" The mother of nine wrote about how yes, having nine children is a challenge but there is certainly no denying that even being a mother of one can be difficult. I love that this mother brought up the challenging points of becoming a mother. Without a doubt it is a complete turn around to now have a new life you are responsible for around the clock 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Even to those who have "natural" mothering skills will discover challenges they never thought of. With my first child I found that I was constantly comparing her to the charts and other children as far as where she should be at in development and her skills. When my second child came along and presented her own challenges, I quickly learned how miniscule the things I once worried about really were. To think I used to worry about what the exact balance of fruits, vegetables and protein are needed daily for baby food meals is just too darn funny now.
The initial move from mother of one to mother of two was quite a shock. There were so many overwhelming factors that went into the stress and frustration I felt, but after about a month, maybe even two, I had the multitasking down pat. In being a mother you not only worry about that baby or babies, but you also worry about how every single move you make for yourself affects them. There are the ever popular battles of breastfeeding vs formula feeding, working vs staying home, daycare vs home care, disposable diapers vs cloth... the list goes on. I learned quickly after my second child was born that there are circumstances which will grant each decision to be valid. I'd say 90% of the reasons mothers choose one or the other makes total and complete sense- if you look at it from a non bias stand point. I learned that no matter which route a mother takes, whether for personal reasons or for the interest of the child, both will more than likely result in a happy mommy which then passes to a result of a happy baby. Poe-tate-toe/Pa-tat-toe.
I was adamant about breastfeeding with my first child and though I struggled with it at times, enjoyed it on a personal level feeling a close bond with my baby and felt fulfilled knowing I as a mother was providing something for her that nobody else could, and that it was the absolute best thing for her. With my second child I had every intention of breastfeeding and when it became a great challenge, I enlisted the help of a specialist. When I felt "defeated" I came to a realization of what I felt was best for me inevitably was best for my baby. Since my second child was too weak to feed from even a bottle and I was struggling greatly with pumping when needed, feeding her by cup and tending to the care of my oldest, formula was in fact the best decision. I struggled at first feeling guilt that my youngest daughter wasn't receiving the same wonderful nutrients my first did and that perhaps this would hinder us from forming a special bond, but then I realized that since I could now have the help of others in feeding her that meant more sleep for me, more time to tend to my oldest and therefore my baby would have a mother who was less tense and she would then be happier. Of course life took its course and my baby developed other issues, but those issues (though extremely difficult) were that much easier to deal with since I wasn't constantly adding the stress of worrying about pumping or hiding myself to feed her. I'm sure a lot of my breastfeeding moms would have tons of hoots and hollers about those comments, but this is where I say I can see both sides- perhaps judgment shouldn't fall on those who weren't actually experiencing what I or someone else experienced. This is where I think both sides have valid points and I would never discount either opinion.
I could go on and on in relating my experiences with each controversial mothering topic, but I do need to get to bed eventually so that is where I will stop with that. Each day my life changes and more often than I'd like the course my life is changing(though it has been mostly positive changes lately which I am grateful for). As my life path continues to unfold, every move I make is with the best interest of my children in mind. The love a mother has for her children is something truly incredible and most special. I've even heard from someone who is not a parent that I am "obsessed" with my kids. Well... I wouldn't have it any other way. My children are the reason I get up every day and work hard to make my life better so that I can in turn fill their lives with everything they need and deserve. They are my reason for being.
