I love him.

It was sometime in 2007. A few friends and I were in our very early 20's with heads as big as a watermelon as we were just promoted to "manager" for the Management Resolution Group in the mortgage department at Washington Mutual. We were young, making pretty good money and having fun with it. Among the mortgage MRG co-workers were a few women in their late 20's/early 30's either single or married with children, some older women married or divorced with children grown and out of the house and a very low number of men ranging from early 20's to perhaps even into the 60's. Most of the guys were in relationships and a few had children. My friend Lindsay and I were known as big flirts. She was blonde with huge boobs, which every man lusts after and I was her brunette tag-a-long friend. We had our ups and downs with boyfriends and enjoyed chatting about them at work on breaks. That's when I first noticed him. He sat across from Lindsay with their backs to each other. He was tall, tan and in every physical way the exact man I always imagined myself with. His desk was very plain but what most definitely stood out was the one picture on his desk... an 8x10 of his girlfriend. James Ryan was known as being off the market, though every woman single or taken in our department thought he was absolutely gorgeous. As we all became comfortable in our roles as taking manager calls for the call center, James built a reputation for being a "know-it-all." He hardly spoke with anyone outside of his group of friends. I automatically assumed he was one of those good-looking guys who wouldn't give anyone else the time of day. The most we ever communicated was saying, "hello" or nodding as we walked by each other. If I had a question and really couldn't find anyone to help me I would send him an instant message on the computer, but it was always strictly business talk, "what is this," "how do I find this," "here's the answer" type deal. Our department was split into teams, each led by a CSM, or customer service manager and our teams often were moved around for whatever reason that seemed to make sense or be more politically correct at the time. Lucky for me one of the moves involved James being strategically placed diagonally from me. We had high cubes and there was a post in front of my desk, so we didn't have direct view of each other but I suddenly had a lot of reasons to walk back and forth down the isle. I was going through a nasty break up from a relationship that didn't last very long but became very dramatic. I was heavily involved in some quality girl-talk with my friend Ellen one day and we discussed the crappy situation I found myself in when out of nowhere I blurted out, "Yanno, James Ryan is super hot." I had known she was on his work team but no idea that she actually knew him personally. Her eyes lit up immediately as she responded, "He just went through an awful break up also, you two would be perfect for each other! Let me set you up!" My first reaction was to tell her she was on drugs because he would not ever give me the time of day. My fear of rejection made me have her promise she wouldn't say anything. A few days went by and each time I walked by his desk I smiled a little more. I started wearing more flattering clothing and making sure I looked as decent as possible at work. I caved and asked Ellen for help but she was out of work for a few days. In my own impatient nature, I swallowed my pride and took the plunge. Via instant message. Yes, o how courageous. I sat five feet away from him but hid behind my post and asked him if he were interested in hanging out outside of work sometime. "Sure." "Cool." And I closed the IM. What an idiot. The next day I received an e-mail from James saying something along the lines of, "if we are going to hang out then here's my number, can I take yours? What would you like to do?" Ok so me being shy and making a fool of myself didn't completely ruin my chances. We made plans to go out to eat and to the movies... as friends. I was excited to be able to see him outside of work but it was very hard to convince myself NOT to have a huge crush on him and keep it platonic. I imagined James Ryan to be this stuck up guy with a flashy car who would brag about his accomplishments and extra curricular activities. The typical guy I had gone out on dates with before. This was not the case at all. He picked me up in his old hand-me-down "big red boat" as it was called (I have no idea the make, model or year of the vehicle)and I was shocked. I had no clue what to say and it was about halfway through our 40 minute drive to the restaurant that he turned his head to me with a big ole smile and said, "This is a long drive, yanno. You can't be quiet forever." To this day James swears I haven't shut up since that moment. We very quickly fell in love. We spent every single waking moment we possibly could together. We had conversations that lasted hours and hours about our past, present and what we hoped for the future. There was absolutely no doubt for either of us that this was it, this was that once in a lifetime love that only a few very lucky people on this earth get to experience. By the time we had been dating for five months we had bought a pet together... and closed on our first house. Everyone thought we were crazy and naive and not thinking (which we really could have put more thought into the house selection, but o well), but we were in love. A week before Christmas we were budgeting out our bills and what we could spend on gifts for family members. Suddenly we had about $600 less than I knew we should. I asked James about this and he non-nonchalantly insisted my calculations were off. I told his sister and brother's girlfriend that night that I thought James had bought a ring because we suddenly were broke. His sister (who had gone to the jewelery store with him) did a very good job of convincing me I was wrong. That Christmas we celebrated at our pretty empty, new house with my parents, his parents and his siblings and their significant others. We exchanged personal gifts before anyone came over. I can't for the love of God remember everything we got each other but I do remember James had given me a few pajama pants and some hoodies, which I insisted on wearing the whole day despite his hint for me to wear something decent. It was toward the end of the day and the 10 of us sat around our living room full of wrapping paper and new toys enjoying all of our new gifts. I was looking at something someone had given me and completely in my own world when James, with his newly shaved head and face, wearing a white button-down shirt and tie was standing over me sweating and shaking like a leaf. He knelled down and pulled out the ring. He didn't have any sappy speech or romantic saying, he just simply said, "Will you marry me?" And so began our fairytale. Five months later, the day after our one-year anniversary, I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Six months later we married. Eight months later I found out I was pregnant with our second child. And now we are expecting our third beautiful little girl. The last two and a half years have held many obstacles for us mainly financially but also emotionally and mentally. It's so very easy to get frustrated when you see others getting flowers or expensive gifts for no reason, when my own husband forgets to buy things at the store I've advised we needed three or four times. It's easy to forget the love and passion you have for one another when your day-to-day routine is filled with teething, colicky babies, rebellious toddlers, broken lawnmowers and stressful jobs. But when I think back to how we started to where we are now I am so incredibly grateful to have this wonderful man next to me. James Ryan swept me off my feet. Since that day he has been right next to me through so many highs and lows. He has supported me in every single dream or wish I have ever said out loud. I love him.